On Saturday, 21 March 2015
In this post, I changed 'the charities above were found by conducting a word search' to 'To find these charities, I conducted a word search' as I thought this was a more appropriate tone for what I was explaining
When re-reading this, I changed 'to grab the attention of my short film audience' to 'The most suited way to grab my audience's attention is to show them statistics, I feel this is one of the most affect ways to grab an audiences attention when talking about situations similar to the one I am' The tone of my sentence was not as well suited as it could have been, therefore i considered the linguistic register and changed the way the tone was first displayed.
